Thursday, February 3, 2011

Raising Real Men

I just started reading Raising Real Men by Hal and Melanie Young, and I am already blown away. I read so many rave reviews about the book, and (seeing as I have four boys) I figured it would be a good one for my library. I will posting a "quote of the week" from the book here on the blog, as well as various convictions, thoughts, and things I am learning. I would love to have something to look back at once I'm finished reading the book, and I hope it will benefit those of you with boys out there as well. So often, I feel like I need to re-read books once I finish them simply because it takes me so long to get through them. This is also one of those books that I feel like has so much to chew on in one chapter, I need to let it sit for a few days. I hope you gain some wisdom from these authors (of SIX boys) as I do the same!! If you ARE a mother of many boys (or even just one!), pick up this book. It is totally worth whatever price you can find it for. I would seriously quote almost the whole book here if I felt like that didn't go ENTIRELY against the "Fair Use" rule, but well...I didn't write the book, so I'll let you read it for yourself and give credit where credit is due! (ahem, the authors :) )

My favorite thing about this book is that these authors REALLY know about boys. They are honest about the way boys are, the things they do and say, and they don't hold back describing the positives and "negatives."

This week, the authors (in a sense) introduced my sons to me. They described them to a t, saying that boys are aggressive, destructive, and obsessed with power. I was reminded that I am to be raising these little future men to be godly soldiers and warriors in this spiritual warfare we are experiencing on earth. I need to redirect their "bulliness" into being a protector. It's okay that they want to fight everything that comes into their path. God really did make them that way! They were created to be fighters, hunters, MANLY!

I love how the Young's talk about man and woman being created in God's image. Now, of course I already knew this, but they described something I just don't think about. Gender roles are so skewed nowadays, and once again, the Lord's plan for creation has been marred by sin. The Young's mention the fact that God created WOMAN in order to display certain qualities He possesses, and He created MAN in order to display totally different qualities. Man and woman are not supposed to switch places here! Part of my job in raising real men is to make sure I nurture and encourage my sons' MANLY qualities. In these qualities, God will be glorified, made known, exalted! How exciting when I think of it with an eternal kingdom perspective! (How easy it is for me to get distracted and forget that this should always be my only perspective!)

One thing I read just today that I will be immediately putting into practice is telling my sons they are my heroes! Whenever it is appropriate, how wonderful for them to hear (from me, from anyone!) you're my hero!! This, currently, is what my 2 oldest sons are aspiring to be, and I want them to know they already are that to me. What a confidence builder!

My sons are looking for heroes (and at this point, for MY kids, they have found Spiderman, the Hulk, Wolverine, etc...you get where I'm coming from?) They need REAL superheroes to look up to...real men who have lived (and died) for the sake of Jesus' name, real men they can aspire to be like!

This is one of those books that I just can't stop highlighting in. As my husband would say, "Why don't you just highlight the parts you DON'T want to remember?" haha ;)

Manly virtues mentioned in the book that are inherently present in boys from birth:
competitiveness
aggression
a desire for adventure
independence
heroism
courage
endurance
protectors
persistent
honorable
intrepid
(taken from p. 27)
They accurately remind their readers that none of these virtues are quiet or neat!

And I chose the following quote as the "Quote of the Week," because...
well, it was...
A punch in the stomach...

"Will we cultivate them (the virtues listed above) and help bring them to fruition? Or will we trade the opportunity for a little more peace and quiet, and hope their future will take care of itself?" (pp. 27-28)

I'll leave you with a tiny clip of Justus. In true boy form, he is fighting what appears to be an invisible bad guy on my bed while I sit and read during "quiet time." (and also while his baby brother squeals with delight, watching HIS hero from the nearby swing) This went on for probably 30 minutes, but I will spare you and share just a few seconds of this common occurrence in the Frye house.

Justus fighting from Anna Frye on Vimeo.


2 comments:

Brandi said...

Love it! It is so funny to see the differences between girls and boys. I wish the Youngs would write a book on girls! Could you write them and get them to do that for me? Ha!

Missy @ It's Almost Naptime said...

1) This book sounds awesome!!! I need help figuring out these little weird people. You've read Wild at Heart too right? Changed the way I parent my boys.

2) Husbands love to be told they are our heroes, too :)

3) LOVE the name Justus. I was just telling my husband tonight that I want a little Ethiopian boy named Justus or Justice. He is not convinced yet, but I have time...

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