I look to You

I've been struggling lately. Struggling with impatience, unhappiness, anger. And since I'm analytical at heart, I have been searching and digging for why things have been that way. Why am I having such a hard time? Who should I turn to? What are the solutions?

I've looked to pinterest. I've read articles and blogs on how to be a better housekeeper, how to be a happier mom, how to get siblings to get along. I've tried "systems" for each of these things, and if they work, I commit to doing them for all of eternity and usually get through my commitment for about a week or two. I fail, I quit, I give up, or I just plain forget.

I listened to a sermon this morning on grace. Per my natural bent, I listened in search of answers to my problems. What can I put in to practice in my home to make it a happier place? What can I walk away with that will make me a better person?

But the more I listened…the more the pastor spoke on grace…the more I realized that that's the answer:


I'm NEVER going to figure this out. These problems I have in my own heart and these constant faults and immaturities in my children are always going to be there (I mean, hopefully they'll mature, but you know what I mean.) These things might change and evolve, but "in this world, we will have trouble!"

God didn't mean for me to figure it out. He didn't intend for me to come up with a system of laundry on Mondays, bathrooms on Tuesdays, vacuuming on Wednesdays….it's never going to work out perfectly!

I'm. going. to. fail.

I know for a fact that He intended for this to happen. Because in His Word, He specifically says that in my weakness, His strength is made known. In my sin, He forgave.

In my humility, He will lift me up.

So what do I need to do? I need to quit. Quit trying to figure it all out. Quit trying to make things happen that just aren't going to happen. If GOD wants them to happen, they will happen…but it sure isn't in my power. And so, I need to turn to Him. Day by day, moment by moment. Week after grueling week.

I've been in the valley, it's been dry, but He's been right there with me. Waiting for me to look to Him.


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